There are days when you feel like the entire universe is against you. No matter how hard you work, no matter how much you pray and no matter how positive you are. I’m trying real hard to have positive views on things. I hate complaining and whining over things, but sometimes I just can’t help it. I’m no expert in life and there are Alooooottt of things I must learn, so it’s safe to say that I’m still striving and struggling to learn. Now, I’m learning from my past mistakes and wanting to choose the best possible path I can walk on, but times like this make me feel like the doors are just slamming on my face. I gathered all the courage I can have and try to take a big step towards my “Dream” but it’s just shutting me out. I keep telling myself to push harder and just keep going, but there are things beyond my control. No matter how persistent I am. No matter how enthusiastic I am. I did my very best to plan and organize every single details that can help me out with this goal. I talked to everyone whom I think can help me. I swallowed my pride and begged for every single help I can get but WALA E. WALA TALAGANG MAGAGAWA. I guess on times like this, I just have to look for any positive side of it. Keep dreaming, keep waiting, keep trying, keep falling, keep learning, keeping praying and keeping working.
I know that this sickness I’m complaining about is nothing compares to what other people are fighting with. I have been suffering for bad cough and Tonsillitis since last week and up until now I’m still having a hard time and I’m not getting any better. I woke up today having stuffy nose and I was like “great! sipon naman ngayon.” I think what frustrates me is that I can’t teach properly. =C Sadly, I saw my student yesterday and she was sniffing and coughing. I felt really bad about it because I may have infected her. That’s when I decided to take a rest today and try to recover as quickly as possible. I’m just fortunate that my boss is really caring, understanding and is even hoping for my fast recovery. I don’t know what might have caused this condition because I tried to eat as healthy as possible ,together with work out routines I consistently follow. (OKAY HINDI “CONSISTENT” BUT COME ON ANDAMI DYAN KAHIT MAGLAKAD HINDI GINAGAWA E ). Talaga bang napaka weak ng immune system ko?! Mag beach pa naman kami nextweek ,I can’t work out!!!! =P wink!
Kung kelan pa sobrang lungkot ko , that’s when the only person I want to be with, is insanely busy. I know that it’s never his obligation to console me and make me feel better. He also has his own set of responsibilities he must face. It’s my responsibility to make myself happy. I should not depend on anyone but myself. Bonus nalang siguro if anjan ang “favorite team “ mo to support you. I HATE to be clingy and needy. As much as possible, I want to solve my own issues by myself. Bakit ko ba idadamay ang mga taong may sariling problema din?
Well… I know someone who is always there for me though. Never busy and never irritated kahit na maging clingy ako. I’m excited to talk to You later. I’ll go to Your house and I will pour out everything to You. I’m sorry in advance if I seem to complain on petty things. I’m sorry if I failed at seeing the positive side of everything. It still reminds me how vulnerable and fragile I am. I’m no one. I’m just a weak girl braving and begging for Your help and guidance. I’d like to look back to this day, read this post and tell myself à”MABUTI NALANG I GOT SICK, I FAILED AND I HAD TO WAIT. “